Manifesting Me Some Destiny

Work. There is a reason they pay you, right? I don't buy into the "do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life" thing, but it shouldn't suck.

When I was in high school I had a position about dating: If it isn't fun >90% of the time, bag it. This was advice for friends in tumultuous, angsty, drama-riddled relationships and also for myself. I think the general principle applies to a lot in life. It doesn't have to be sunshine and unicorns all the time. In fact, working for or through something that is hard is a wonderful growth opportunity and can be incredibly satisfying and character-building. But there is a difference between challenging and soul sucking.

I wouldn't say work for the last year-ish was "soul sucking" exactly, but it was severely dissatisfying. My non-profit was acquired in Q3 2014 by a for-profit company in the same field. I wouldn't have applied to work for this new company, but there we were. I still believed in the work, I definitely believed in my team and there were some good professional (and character-building) opportunities. They fed us some nice words during and after the acquisition. I was optimistic.

Then this last summer my boss, my former boss, my first boss and my mentor were all laid off, along with others, with no notice and my optimism was replaced with disillusionment. People with incredible value were tossed away as a "cost saving exercise" to save a bit of cash on the short-term balance sheet. The true cost was the undermining of our ability to get the job done, let alone do great work, and decimating morale.

There had been a gradual accumulation of warning signs but at this point I started to understand that the company and I had irreconcilable values.

I started with my work there in 2008 and over the course of seven years had a few opportunities to think about whether I was in the right place and what I wanted out of work. In particular, The Dip by Seth Godin, got me thinking about "when to quit and when to stick" and "under what conditions will you quit?"

I didn't have super clear answers but my thinking basically boiled down to values and for me they shook out as:

• Be Transparent: Be open and truthful about what is going on and why. Have integrity, especially when it is tough.
• Do Great Work: You have to keep the lights on but value excellence over bigger profits. It also means making the world a better place in some way.
• Treat People Well: Consider what business decisions will mean for the people in the company. Don't lay people off right before Christmas. 
• Have Fun: There should be regular bouts of laughter.

In my mind these add up to a much more humane and enjoyable place to work and I don't want to waste my abilities on a place that doesn't appreciate these values. I'm also dead certain teams and organizations with these values are better equipped, and more likely, to be successful.

My company was way off the mark on all these fronts, but how does a gal with very general abilities (great motivator! good communicator!) go about a job search for a "Good" company?
Randomly. Patiently.

My plan was:

• August: Get resume updated and go to Iceland. (See here too. And here. And here.)
• September: Be open to possibilities and let my network know I was thinking about my "next step." Casually look around at companies and job postings.
• Q4: Let my immediate boss (and dear friend) know we should plan for 2016 without me. Finish out the year and prep for my team and the work to be as successful as possible without me. Practice applying for jobs.
• Q1 2016: Leave. Take a couple months off to run, do pottery, read, write, see friends.

Amidst casual conversations and looking at random job postings and lists of companies I got a job pushed to me from Glassdoor or LinkedIn. It was for a company in a totally different field I have zero experience in. But the job was a blend of people management and operations and I was thoroughly qualified (weird right?) I was also about to start practicing applying for jobs.

In looking at the company's website it looked like a fun place, they do great work on a lot of levels and are a leader with regards to women in the workplace (and doing it for all the right reasons.) So I applied.

In stalking connections on LinkdIn there was one person at the company with whom I shared a handful of connections. I was still in casually-curious mode so figured I would wait until after the phone screening with HR to reach out. I wanted to make sure it was actually someplace I wanted to be before getting others involved. In the phone screen it turned out the person I had a few connections to was the hiring manager for this position.

I reached out to a mutual friend for a referral and intel, got a response that same day and Friday had a 30-minute chat with the hiring manger. 30-minutes turned into 60 and by the end of the chat I had shifted from casually-curious to seriously-interested. The following Thursday I had in person interviews with a handful of people and came away with the agonizing feeling of "I really like it and want the job but I don't think the interviews went well." However, a few days later they invited me back for a second round of interviews, the next day I got a verbal offer and we signed the papers the day after that.

From the time I spoke with the hiring manager to signed paperwork was just under nine business days. I started my new job three weeks later.

I'm about to start week seven of that new job and feel so incredibly great and grateful. I could wax on about the ridiculous benefits (beer on tap, unlimited PTO) but it is so much bigger than the perks. My first three weeks were almost all training and included a week in CA at HQ that was 99% training. I've been there a matter of days and already had the opportunity to drastically overhaul, improve and relaunch a major system and process that impacts everyone (25 people) every day and informs how we make business decisions. They value and appreciate what I bring to the table.

In the interviews and my interactions since starting it is clear to me that my larger team, and the company as a whole, share the values I articulated for myself late summer.

In short, I feel like I'm in the right place.

Photo from the Redwoods two years ago. That also felt like the right place.

2015 Reading

I've been keeping better track of my reading the last couple of years. Here is (most of) what I gobbled up in 2015!  For reference, here is 2014 and a partial list from 2013.

Linked books are my top ten recommendations. What do you recommend for 2016?

Fiction

Queenpin, Karen Abbott.  Contemporary writer doing the 1950's noir thing.  Very well done, good writing, quick, fun.

Boy, Snow, Bird, Helen Oyeyemi.  Exquisite.  Gorgeous story-telling, lovely recasting of some of our deepest fairy tales and a damn fine writer overall.  Best book I've read in a long while.

All the Light We Cannot See, Anthony Doerr. Best thing I've read in years and maybe ever. The structure, momentum, story, characters, imagery and writing were all independently brilliant and then woven together and played off each other so beautifully.

Still Life with Breadcrumbs, Anna Quindlen.  Lovely work and some fascinating things with story timelines.

The Patron Saint of Liars, Ann Patchett.  Great book. Love Ann Patchett.

Cat's Eye, Margaret Atwood.  Excellent.  Layers and layers.

A Wizard of Earthsea, Ursula LeGuin.  The first in a series of fantasy, magic-y young adult novels pre-dating Harry Potter by a few decades.  Super fun read.

The Tombs of Atuan, Ursula LeGuin.  The second Earthsea novel and very well done.  Dark, earthy, feminine power.

Reykjavik Nights, Arnaldur Indridason. Set in Iceland by an Icelandic author.  Didn't really do much for me but was fun to read as we prepared for our trip to the land of ice and fire!

Beloved, Toni Morrison. Finally got around to reading this Pulitzer winning amazing work. Like reading a poem.

Taft, Ann Patchett. Lovely.

Olive Kitteridge, Elizabeth Strout. I like short stories in theory more than I find I actually enjoy them. This was, essentially, a collection of short stories but added together for a portrait of a woman, a town, a life. I didn't like it after the first few stories but then it grew on me.

You Suck, Christopher Moore. I love Christopher Moore and this is him in his element. It can be hard to find quality writing that is fun and funny. Christopher Moore is one of my go-to's for that. This is the second of the Bloodsucking Fiends SF vampire trilogy.

Skin Tight, Carl Hiaasen. An oldie but goodie, fun and funny. Classic Hiaasen if you are into that, which I am.

Death in Holy Orders, PD James. Classic PD James.  Loved it, love her.

The Cartel, Don Winslow. So so good. Fiction inspired by the real-life doings of Mexican drug cartels and our War on Drugs.

Lucky You, Carl Hiaasen. Not my favorite Hiaasen but entertaining.

Bite Me: A Love Story, Christopher Moore. The final installment of the Bloodsucking Fiends trilogy and solid Christopher Moore ridiculousness.

Two Years, Eight Months and Twenty-Eight Nights, Salman Rushdie. A rift on 1,001 nights and hectic, weird and so much fun. A bizarre combination of timelines, perspectives and stories within stories within stories. Didn't quite work but I enjoyed it.

Enchantress of Florence, Salman Rushdie. Intricate story lines and a fascinating mixture of cultures, histories, fantasies and more. So odd in some ways and I liked it but am not sure everyone would.

Non-Fiction 
Smart and/or useful stuff (or at least that is the hope)

Manage Your Day-To-Day, Jocelyn Geil. A collection of very short essays by really smart people on how to be and work in this world.  Some real gems.  Also the physical design of the book was truly lovely.

You Can't Teach a Kid to Ride a Bike in a Seminar, David Sandler. A book for work about sales and while I didn't love the tone or some of the approaches he has a lot of really great perspectives and approaches.

The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg.  It was everywhere in 2014 and was really well done.  Interesting, useful, engaging. Very highly recommend.

Give and Take, Adam Grant.  Very interesting and useful.  Strongly recommend, especially for all of you inclined toward "giving" who sometimes think you need to be tougher.

Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination and Invigorates the Soul, Stuart Brown.  Meh.  I've loved interviews with him and dig the basic concept but found the book very flat.  An annoying combination of unsubstantiated (or at least un-referenced) science-ish stuff and stories that felt more like "proof by example" than "illustrative."

Being Mortal, Atul Gawande.  A surgeon writing about the inadequacies of our medical systems to address end of life.  Very lovely writing, incredibly helpful perspectives and some real solutions for all of us.

Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, Dan Pink.  I saw the RSA whiteboard talk, the TED talk and listened to several interviews before I finally got around to reading the book.  It was super great and useful.  I'm making encouraging my staff read it now too.

To Sell is Human, Dan Pink. Precursor to Drive and much of the content is familiar from other books I've read and TED talks I've seen. Great.

Follow Your Gut, Rob Knight.  Soooooooooo cool.  If you are a dork about how bacteria help your health, which I totally am (and have been since before it was such a thing.)  In a parallel universe I'm a microbiologist.

Stoned, A Doctor's Case for Medical Marijuana, David Casarett. Interesting and timely. Definitely a doctor writing a book (vs. a writer writing about doctor-y stuff) but that was part of the interest.

Furiously Happy, Jenny Lawson. I loved her first book and this one was great too. Hilarious and also a helpful glimpse at what it is like to live with mental illness; a combo you don't see every day.

Anything you Want, Derek Sivers. Short and sweet and timely.

A Short Guide to a Happy Life, Anna Quindlen. Lovely little snack.

Brain Candy
It's important to turn your brain off and just be entertained sometimes.

Alibi Man, Tami Hoeg.  Entertaining and probably better for my brain than television.  Maybe.

Sweetheart, Chelsea Cain.  Twisted, sick, murder mystery.  2nd in a series featuring a lady serial killer and set in Portland, which is fun.  Good writing too.

From Doon with Death, Ruth Rendell. Despite my great consumption of quality murder mystery books somehow I missed Ruth Rendell.  This one was fun but the ending, while delighting me with a twist, annoyed me politically.

9th Girl, Tami Hoag.  Loved it.  Like crap TV but much more delicious.

The Brass Verdict, Michael Connolly.  A Micky Haller (Lincoln Lawyer) novel with Harry Bosch co-starring.  Super fun.

The Lady of the Rivers, Philippa Gregory.  One part soap opera, one part historical fiction and a dash of magic, this is the first of six books focused on the women of the the War of the Roses from the author who brought us The Other Boleyn Girl.  She is no Hilary Mantel but an interesting, imaginative and connected enough to the history that it is actually semi-educational.

The Red Queen, Philippa Gregory.  Pretty crap but I... can't... stop.

The White Queen, Philippa Gregory. So terrible.  Why do I read them?

Trunk Music, Michael Connelly. Harry Bosch again. This time it is Las Vegas, the mob and all sorts of layers of intrigue.

The Last Coyote, Michael Connelly. Detective Harry Bosch solves the decades-old crime that led him to be a cop in the first place: the murder of his mother when he was a child. CA politics, corruption and cover-ups. A must-read for Harry Bosch fans.

One Kick, Chelsea Cain. Portland writer who does the lovely, twisted, sick Sweetheart murder series has another character, Kick Lannigan, and the start of another great series.

Partial Reads 
There are too many books on my list to take time with ones that don't grab me.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, David Shafer. Big data and conspiracy theories.  Neither of which interest me but it is a Portland writer and highly recommended from a number of people.  Writing was engaging, characters amusing but I just couldn't get interested.  I made it about 60% of the way through and was relieved I had to return it to the library.

Think a Little, Change a Lot, David Wiseman.  A Readers Digest of sorts covering all the self-help, positive psychology stuff out there.  Nice that it sifted through a huge volume of work to somewhat "curate" what really works and doesn't but it was a bit too much like a highlight reel for me.

Middlemarch, George Elliot. One of the great classics.  I'm a fan of 18th, 19th and early 20th century writing but this one did not captivate my attention despite valiantly plugging along with it for weeks.

Tourist Season, Carl Hiaasen. I usually love this guy but this early book didn't do it for me and some of the dated stereotypes were just offensive, not funny.

Live Right and Find Happiness, Dave Barry. Dave Barry has been on my radar for a while but I've never read anything by him. It was fine but I'd rather take time with something else.

Iceland!!!!! Trekking, Thorsmork

The Laugavegur trail ends in Thorsmork (translation: "Thor's Place.") As we did at the start in Landmannlauger, we spent a couple of days hiking around the area before heading back to Reykjavik. Unlike the start with it's sleety windy wintry mix, it was mostly gloriously beautiful.

The main adventure was a 14 mile out and back from the valley floor to the top of Magni and Modi. These are the two new mountains created in 2010 with the eruption of Eyjafjallajökull (remember when flights in Europe were canceled for weeks?) and getting to the top took much climbing (~1,000 meters) on some challenging trails.

Looking back at the Thorsmork valley from ~a quarter of the way up.

One section, "The Cat's Spine," is a narrow path perched atop a ridge with steep cliffs on both sides. I was not above climbing on hands and knees for a couple spots. Nearer to the top was what translated to "The Steep Snowy Bit."  It was steep and snowy (go figure?) and slippery and mentally challenging for those, like me, with some fear of heights.

Although we had abundant sunshine for most of the day, the weather in Iceland is fickle. When we got to the top of the mountain it had turned cold and extremely windy. Our guide was concerned about lingering too long so we spent just a moment up top before hustling down. Pretty quickly the weather turned again and we were able to enjoy a pleasant descent.

On the way down our guide asked if we were interested in a little detour. The week had tired some people out. The heights had stressed a couple others. There were rumblings of wanting to get back to camp. Since our guide had a track record of amazing detours and WE WERE IN ICELAND I was pretty enthusiastic and vocal about doing the detour.

Worth it.

Most of our traveling buddies were awesome people but by this point in the adventure we were okay with some time apart. The way back to camp was well marked, danger of being lost minimal and fear of predators (human or otherwise) was, literally, non existant.  So we hung back, let the others rush back to camp, and had some nice quiet time in the sunshine and splendor of Thorsmork.

Iceland!!!!! Trekking, Laugavegur Trail

The Laugavegur Trail is where it's at. Four days and 55 km (plus extra with the scenic detours) from Landmannlauger to Thorsmork.

Day 1: Despite the wardens at Landmannlauger warning that trekkers must have winter gear and GPS to navigate snow and foggy conditions, our first day heading out from Landmannlauger was glorious sunshine and views. As we looked back we had the whole Landmannlauger valley below us, painted mountains in every direction and stunning textures combining sky, clouds, steam and snow.

The hike was a bit more than six miles and something like 800m of elevation with the last couple of miles over icy, slushy snow that felt like walking through sand. As the Jeep shuttling our food and gear had lost a wheel, we arrived at the hut in Hrafntinnusker ahead of dinner. Near the highest point of the trail, Hrafntinnusker is the must rustic of the huts with no flush toilets, no hot water, the tiniest kitchen and somehow squeezes in sleeping space for about 50 people.

Despite the sunny start things were chilly and people were hungry. Our guide had packed with him some dry soup packets to keep us from starving and we tried to keep up a chirpy attitude. It helped to think of the poor souls camping outside, who were also waiting for their food and gear but had to do it outside without the tents as the tents were part of the delayed gear. When dinner finally came it was pasta with a creamy red pepper and garlic sauce (coconut cream for me) combined with smoked salmon and was delicious.

View of campers from inside the hut.

Day 2: This day was hard.

We woke up to heavy wind, icy rain and whiteout conditions. The trail was rocky, muddy, slippery, not well marked, had multiple river crossings, a good amount of elevation and was 12.5 miles. We aren't sure what the sustained wind speed was, but it moved my big and strong Christopher around. At one point he nearly lost a glove as it shot out horizontally when he dropped it. In our group was a solo 74-year-old woman who had never done anything like this, was a little bit unsteady on her feet and kept the pace very, very slow. Part of me was incredibly impressed at her courage and determination. Another part of me was soggy, covered in mud (from a slide down a short, steep, loose slope), frozen to the bone and impatient to move faster so I could warm up and get to the next hut. That evening's rice, yam, veggie stew was extremely welcome.

The most treacherous part of the day was over, we doing our last river crossing of the day, the hut was just a couple of miles away and we hadn't lost anyone. Our guide was feeling good about life.

The hut that night was slightly less rustic but the sleeping quarters were quad bunk beds (two people on top, two people on bottom) ringing the edge of a small room. I ended up on a top bunk next to the wall with a ceiling so low I couldn't sit up except in between the exposed rafters. I woke up in the middle of the night in a sweaty, claustrophobic panic. Turning my headlamp on helped me calm down slightly but the panic came right back as soon as I turned the light off. I ended up clambering over Christopher, waking and annoying him in the process, and spending 10 or 15 minutes in the quiet, cool kitchen calming down before I could try and go back to sleep.

Day 3: We started with cold, soggy gear and an outlook for another 12.5 miles of miserable weather. However, as they say, "If you don't like the weather in Iceland, wait ten minutes," and we had a perfectly manageable day. It wasn't warm and there was still some wind and patches of rain but we had a mostly dry day and even some patches of sun.  Lunch was at a spot with a smallish canyon, dramatic waterfall, glaciers and mountains all around and a herd of Icelandic horses for our lunch companions.

Near the end of the end of the day we took a little 45-minute detour to a huge, dramatic, stunning canyon.  One of the photos we took there ended up being our holiday card, but even then photos don't come close to doing it justice. The drama is part the sheer size and intensity of canyon itself but also the suddenness with which it emerges from the surrounding landscape. Iceland, and this day in particular, felt like the setting for an epic other-worldly adventure.

Day 4: Our last day on the official Laugavegur Trail was a transition from long black sandy plains, crazy and incoherent mountain formations, no birds, no sheep and almost no vegetation down to something a little closer to earth. As we descended into Thorsmork it got noticeably warmer, more humid and, in general, life sustaining. We saw trees for the first time in days and our final river crossing was notably warmer than the 32 degree glacier rivers we crossed earlier in our adventures.

The most spacious hut yet we were still doubled up on a single bunk. It was oppressively warm, the snoring was still epic and I didn't sleep much or well but it felt spacious and private to be tucked away in a corner sharing immediate space with just four other people.

Iceland!!!!! Intermission

Oops. Life got crazy. I'm not done with recounting our Iceland adventures.

In the meanwhile, enjoy this lovely post from one of our traveling companions: http://susandragoo.com/2015/08/28/iceland-2/

Her photos and blog format are more nicey for the visuals than anything I do.

Another nice thing on Iceland is this: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/travel/reykjavik-iceland-tours.html?smprod=nytcore-iphone&smid=nytcore-iphone-share&_r=0

It captures a piece of why I love love love Iceland.

I'll regale you with my take on the adventures as well as give life updates... later.

Iceland!!!!! Trekking, Landmannlauger

I loved Reykjavik. I loved the people. I loved the pools, library, buses, etc. But let's be real: we went for the gorgeous splendor and natural beauty. Iceland did not disappoint.

Panorama during a moment of partial sun on Day 2 

A 3+ hour drive took us to Landmannlauger in the South of Iceland. Landmannlauger is where the famous Laugavegur trail starts and where we spent a few days hiking about.  The last hour of the trip was on very primitive dirt roads with the bus plowing through puddles, streams and even, at times, serious water. Our particular bus driver took the roads like a boss passing all sorts of souped up off-road cars. It raises the question, how long do those busses last?

One of the roads buses, Jeeps and other vehicles use to get to the huts along the Laugarvegur trail

We arrived in a cold drizzle mid-day but hiked about for a few hours in the lava fields before spending the late afternoon laying about, reading and enjoying the natural hot spring.  That night, our first in the "mountain huts," was in a dormer with another 20+ people lined up shoulder to shoulder on two long rows of sleeping mats. The older woman next to me snored - loudly from the moment she laid down and all night long. I slept poorly.

Fellow trekkers soaking in the springs.

The second day the weather was even worse! We had a wintry mix of snow and rain combined with wind but did about 10 miles of traipsing about the valley and saw, among other things, the ill-named Ugly Puddle. Although we were soaked, it was beautiful and by the time we got back to the hut the sun came out and I had another nice soak in the hot spring.

A piece of the hills and valley floor at Landmannlauger.

Day three arrived with glorious sunshine. In the morning we climbed a mountain that was too steep, slippery and treacherous to hike in the rain the day before and absolutely worth the view.

I conquered that mountain.

In the afternoon we said "Goodbye" to the five other people who had been in our group for three days and said "Hello" to fifteen new people who would join us for the next six days of the Laugavegur Trail.

Rainbow over Langmannlauger

Iceland!!!!! First Impressions

This will not be a literary blog post. This will be a pre-teen puppy love declaration of infatuation and ardor. Each of the "i"'s is, in my mind, doted with a heart.

A sculpture in Reykjavik inspired by Viking ships.
That's my favorite Viking in the shot.

Our two week Icelandic adventure was the best vacation ever. Given my application of "the best ever!" to vacations of the past you may be doubtful but this was the best vacation ever.

We arrived in the land of ice and fire on a drizzly, cold and windy Thursday early in the morning after a direct red-eye.  For two days we walked and walked. We did a "dark deeds" literary walking tour linking crime writers and crime fiction to spots around town. We took the bus, visited museums, saw the famous Hallgrimskirkja (church), swam at a public pool, and visited a grocery store, hardware store and a bakery. We ate a disappointing breakfast, had great noodles, were fairly unimpressed by the veggie joint and even less so by the Icelandic joint. On its surface the days in Reykjavik make a lame summer vacation story: graffiti, rain, mostly utilitarian architecture, bad roads, expensive lackluster food.

But I really really liked it. Our AirBnB apartment was ultra convenient, cozy, quiet and very comfortable. The city was easy to get around, very low stress, nothing was crowded and everyone we encountered was lovely.  And I loved it. I love the hot water that spurts from the earth all over the place. I love the breath-taking (literally) beauty of the geography. I love the sheep that, outnumbering the human population 2:1, have their run of the island and I love all the wool and woolen goods that are a natural bi-product. I love the people, half of whom are said to believe in elves, who I found universally nice, witty, helpful and relaxed.

Despite many months of darkness, cold most of the year and a good chance that some volcano is raining ash and/or lava somewhere, the 320,000 people of Iceland consistently rank near, or at, the top of evaluations of happiness. Based on my conversations with Icelanders and trolling of the interwebs, they have no military, barely a police force, less than 100 people in prison and the lowest murder rate in the world. They have crazy high birth rates and life expectancy, extremely strong social bonds and, per capita, buy more books than any other people. I think the 120+ public geothermal pools have something to do with them being such a well adjusted people.

The Hallgrimskirkja (church) on the top of downtown.