Healing – A full recovery

I’m feeling much better. Over the last two years I’ve been getting steadily better but I think I can now say I am officially recovered.

For those who don’t know – about two years ago, things in the life of this wayward princess were pretty rough. One can honestly say that things were downright disastrous two years ago. I don’t even remember a lot from a good six-month period of time. A few particularly traumatic moments stand out but it is mostly cloudy with memories of soothing myself with mindless television, escapist books and vacant knitting. About all I could handle were ultra lightweight detective books and Desperate Housewives. Not that there is anything wrong with either of these things, it is just that they marked the outer limit of what I was able to voluntarily handle.

My mother, meaning very well, sent me the book The Kite Runner. Some of the adjectives used to describe it are, “powerful,” “moving,” “heartbreaking,” and “tragic.” I was seriously not in a place to be reading such a book. Within days of leaving Philadelphia and my disastrous job, apartment, roommate, relationship, I was feeling better but for another 18 months I hadn’t been able to read it.

It took two years of family, friends, travel and whole lot of massage and yoga but I think I’m finally “healed.” The symbol of my recovery is that I was finally able to read The Kite Runner. It was a challenging and moving novel but one that I was able to enjoy and appreciate. Though I cried, it didn’t destroy me. I feel like I have regained a somewhat normal emotional equilibrium again. I might still be scarred but I’m no longer raw. The Kite Runner itself is a novel about healing so it seems an appropriate marker of my official recovery.

At the same time I am finding myself a little bit bored by massage therapy and ready to move on to the next thing. I enjoy most of my clients immensely, but where as before about all I was able to handle was massage, now I feel myself craving more challenge.
And it could be that this season isn’t as good as the first season, but Desperate Housewives doesn’t seem as interesting either. Even my detective novels don’t seem quite as entertaining.

So I am officially searching for a job or internship that will get me back on track. I have even given notice to my landlord that I will be moving out December 16 and plan on having a new job this coming January.