Food!

It is lucky for me that I have a fast metabolism. I like food. A lot. A friend of mine once said she couldn’t imagine me having an eating disorder like anorexia because I wouldn’t have the willpower to stay away from food. So imagine the discipline it took to not eat for ten days.

A year and a half ago when I was in India I made the acquaintance of an Indian parasite. For all the gory details check out my posts from May or June 2005 – in particular the post “Delhi Belly.” Even though I technically recovered after a few days, things with my digestive system hadn’t been quite right since. Basically any alcohol, particularly red wine, and a lot of foods made me feel bad. I got headaches, queasy, and “trouble” in the bathroom (to put it politely) quite frequently. I also developed bothersome breakouts that, interestingly, outlined what is, according to Chinese medicine, the large intestine meridian.

When I first got back it was pretty bad and I got some treatment that helped but didn’t “cure” me and since then things have been steadily improving, but very, very slowly. Being leery of a wicked pharmaceutical treatment, I’ve been feeling the urge to do some sort of dietary “cleanse.” I looked into a lot of them and finally settled on what is known as “The Master Cleanse.” I decided on it because it is supposed to help, in addition to the intestines, the kidneys specifically and because it came to me recommended by a wide range of unconnected people.

To summarize, one takes two tablespoons of fresh squeezed lemon juice, two tablespoons of maple syrup (organic Grade B syrup), one cup (8oz) of water and a dash of cayenne. You mix it all together and drink it down, six to twelve times a day. In addition, to promote “elimination” of toxins and all that, one takes two teaspoons of non-iodized sea salt dispersed in four cups of water in the morning and laxative tea in the evening before bed. One may also have as much mint tea as one likes. When the cleanse is over it is very important to ease your way back into food with a day or so of juice followed by small, light, easy meals. It is also important to reintroduce the good, happy intestinal bacteria with foods like sauerkraut, yogurt, tempeh and so on.

And I did this crazy diet (minus the laxative tea) for ten days. Amazingly, I actually felt pretty good. I needed a lot more sleep and was cold the whole time, but I had energy to work, exercise and do all my other normal activities. During my morning yoga practice I felt much more limber and the constant headaches I tend to have left me completely after the third or fourth day.

I had a really hard time with missing food though. Despite what people say about not being hungry during the fast, I was mildly hungry the whole time. They say to just drink more of the mixture if you get hungry but my stomach, mouth and esophagus got to the point where it just couldn’t handle any more citrus. I also just missed food. I missed the texture, the smell, the taste, and the rituals around eating. I found these gaps in my days where I would normally be going to the grocery store or cooking or eating and I wasn’t quite sure what to do with myself instead. There are also so many foods I like so much and even though I’ve had almost 10,000 days of eating in my life, I felt like I was missing out on so many good things. It was particularly hard to be around people who were eating. I felt sort of like Christopher’s puppy-dog who stares longingly at any and all food.

But did it do the trick? I think so. I finished the cleanse a few weeks ago and since then my headaches have been almost completely gone, there has been no queasy tummy and the bathroom “trouble” hasn’t been around at all. I’ve also only had one pimple appear when generally I have two or three throbbing at any given time.

The real test was Thanksgiving though. Drinking started around 1pm with the opening of the beer Christopher had brewed and I managed to have two or three beers and a couple glasses of wine over the course of the afternoon and evening. The alcohol was supplemented with tortilla chips, pumpkin bread (which should be called pumpkin cake with all the sugar in it!), creamy soup, mashed potatoes with a ton of butter, sour cream, cream cheese and garlic, and all the usual Thanksgiving foods and deserts. The weekend rounded out with more eating and drinking on Friday and Saturday complimented by a lack of exercise and two very long car trips. Through it all my system held up wonderfully. Apart from getting a little tipsy, the post-feasting sluggishness, and car trip stiffness, I had no adverse reactions to the weekend. I got no headaches, no tummy aches, no intestinal aches, and overall felt okay. Well, I guess my one pimple that arrived on Sunday could be due to the weekend of revelry, but other than that things were good.

Even though I think it is awful to not eat for ten days I can’t help but recommend the Master Cleanse. I put a link to it at the right and everything. My November resolution was to do the cleanse and be better about taking care of my innards. Since breaking the fast I’ve been trying hard to eat good “pro-biotic” foods that give one the happy bacteria your intestines need, in addition to good “pre-biotic” foods that help create a happy environment for the happy bacteria. Not to say I’m a dietary angel now. I have eaten mass quantities of pumpkin bread and one day managed to eat an entire calzone for lunch, but after not eating for ten days I think it is okay to go a tad bit overboard at times.

Everything in moderation. Even moderation.