Germ Warfare

The Waywardian insurgence began last Thursday.  

Rebels guised as "dry air" infiltrated the throat.  The next morning, cloaked as "allergies," they shifted the assault to the eyes.  From there rebels spread, peppering the Princess with a constant, low grade offensive.  Attacks were focused mainly on the eyes and sinuses with an occasional rogue militant making a solo raid to the lungs.  Taking advantage of recently weakened defenses the attacks were largely ignored by the Princess of Waywardia for several days.

Saturday brought the first outright battle.  Rebels took advantage of the Princess's flight from San Diego.  During the airplane's descent into Portland forces burst into the sinuses and inner ear, peppering her entire head with a constant barrage of missiles.  

The next morning the Princess issued a plea to outside forces for aid.  Washington state responded with a delivery of Claritin D, in direct opposition to Oregon's ongoing embargo.  Monday morning it appeared the Princess would emerge the victor with only a minimal amount of disruption to her domain.  

Critics of the Princess have said the sovereign assumed victory too soon and should have spent Monday stamping out the last of the revolters.  Today it was clear rebel forces had not conceded the loss.  What this morning were thought to be lingering malcontents in the lungs emerged by the evening as a rebel stronghold.

A hotbed for revolt in the last decade the lungs are thought to be the rebel's most powerful foothold in Waywardia.  In a formal statement the Princess has dismissed the purported strength of the rebels and has refused to make any accommodations in her normal schedule to negotiate with or appease the insurgents.