Wedding stressssssssssssssssss
With our wedding this summer I’ve been vacillating back and forth between extreme excitement and some form of extreme stress that I haven’t quite been able to pinpoint.
The excitement side is fairly straight-forward. I love my Christopher and we get to have a fantastic party with all our family and closest friends to celebrate formally and officially committing ourselves to sharing this love and a life together for always. And I get to do it in a fabulous dress.
The stress part was somewhat unexpected. I’ve been organizing much larger events for over a decade at this point, one itty-bitty-little wedding?? No problem. I failed, however, to realize a few key points that differentiate weddings from just about anything else.
Mostly it boils down to people get crazy when it comes to weddings and most wedding hoopla really doesn’t appeal to me.
Take, for instance, photography. Wedding photographers seem to start at the $2,000 mark – and that generally doesn’t include actual photographs, just the taking of the photographs. The average cost I was seeing for fully documenting the wedding and getting some actual prints was about $3,500+. There was one photography package that was $14,995!!!!! Some of the wedding photographers create stunning works of art through their photography, but we would rather pay our mortgage. Also, it seems that as soon as you mention “wedding” the creative lens narrows and you get locked into notions of what wedding photos are supposed to be like. Though I admit to loving America’s Next Top Model, I do not want to have a photo shoot and my aim is not the cover of Bride magazine. I’d rather actually enjoy and participate in the day! But most people want the whole photo shoot thing and the unique, meaningful poses, when to me that just feels contrived. I want someone who will unobtrusively capture the day. I’d like those photos to be artful and of a high quality, but I’m not going to take time out of this special day to stage and set-up artificial scenes.
Take the example of wedding photographers and it can be translated into any other “wedding” whatever-er. Say you want dessert. In the normal world dessert can be pie, fruit, ice cream, cookies, cannoli, fudge, and so on. Dessert at a wedding, however, has to be a cake. Big cake, little cake, chocolate cake, white cake, 8-tiered cake, cupcake – it is all still just CAKE. Yet the cake must be “designed” and one must book a cake artist months in advance. Grammar check doesn’t even come close to understanding that phrase!
I’ve started to realize that a big part of the stress I’ve been feeling over the wedding stuff stems from my struggle around to create a day that is special and meaningful, but also authentic to who we are. When it comes to cake, I care about chocolate and how it tastes. How it looks is not a critical factor to me. Similarly when it comes to bridesmaids, I want my friends there to be a part of the day, help me wrestle into my dress and have a good time. I don’t care at all what shoes they wear or what they do with their hair – they are gorgeous and no one will even notice that they don’t have matching shoes.
Simple, easy, fun.
Simple, easy, fun.
Simple, easy, fun.
SAY IT!
posted by Wayward Princess @ 1:17 PM
1 comments
1 Comments:
Here's a thought for wedding pictures for you. Given your taste for the simple, if you have a family member or friend that will do it (and has the equipment), have them take the pictures for you. Usually they will be willing to do it for WAY less than the professionals, and they will happily stay for the reception, so you can get the candid shots (which is where the good stuff comes from). If they shoot film, you buy and develop it. If they have a good enough digital camera, provide them with a couple extra memory cards.
It does mean you have to make your own album, but you get lots more pictures at a much lower cost. That's how my sister's wedding was done, and how we did it for our wedding (actually we hired a professional who agreed just to take the pictures and return the film, but she charged a fraction of those packages usually cost). I shot the pictures for a couple family weddings. I'm not as good as a professional, but if you're not wrapped up in the whole "it must be perfect" thing, it can get you good pictures at a sane price.
Oh, and yes, in my experience, planning your own wedding is the worst part. We found life got better again after we were married and not engaged anymore.
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