Saying Goodbye

I’ve moved a lot. I’ve made a lot of big changes in my life a lot of times. I’ve said goodbye to a lot of people. Somehow this time seems harder, and the hardest part is saying goodbye to my clients. The relationships I have with my clients, while very professional, are also very personal. Some of these people I’ve spent two hours with once a week, every week, for months. I don’t see or speak with my best friends that much. I know about their health, injuries and other massage-related issues but I also know about their lives, their partners, their kids, their work, their vacations, their worries, their joys, their houses, their hobbies, their pets and so much more. In turn they know about me similar such details of living that come up when you spend so much personal, focused time with another person. Despite good intentions all around, I know that I probably won’t ever see or speak to many of them ever again. We passed through each other’s lives for a brief moment and while invisible strings will connect us for a while, at least in our hearts and minds, eventually those strings will stretch and fade and disappear.

It is almost made worse by the fact that everyone is also so wonderful and supportive too. Not worse, I should say, but harder. It is easy to break-off connections with jerks, but these lovely clients are all so nice about it all. They are in various stages of sadness, from mild to crestfallen, about my leaving, but even the ones who will most miss me are so understanding and supportive of the exciting changes I have coming up. I almost started crying yesterday when the chiropractor asked if there was anything they could do to help make things easier for me. For some reason I was feeling so bad and almost guilty about leaving, and instead of being upset or mad with me (not that one would ever think that is how they would respond) they gave me hugs and offered to help. With all the flurry of change I’m a little bit wound up and emotional right now to begin with so when she said that I felt myself well up.

Leaving is helping me gain a deeper appreciation for the people I’ve known and worked with here. I know I need to leave, but I hope I am able to bring all the kindness and love I’ve had here with me.